The concept of ‘self’ is wide and diverse depending on one’s perception. To a layman, ‘self’’ could mean innate ability, while some other people may view it as the natural gift ordained by God. Some people might take it further on the semantic and view it as traits of arrogance or self aggrandizement. It is pertinent therefore, to look at this concept of ‘’self’’ deeply and juxtapose it with our contemporary world to know how it can be of help or otherwise to us as individuals and society at large. With this background about ‘self’ talk, we can conveniently ask the question-what is self? Your ‘self’ Is what people call ‘I’ or ‘Me’. Your ‘self’ is the centre of your personal world. Let’s look at the components:
BASIC COMPONENTS OF SELF: (1) THE NATURAL SELF- The first component is your natural self. Everybody has a fundamental inner nature or inner core of genetics, drives, instincts and human potentials-this is your animal nature (human beings are higher animals).Your animal nature is the same among living beings. For example: needs for food, shelter, physical safety, belonging and love. Some of these traits are unique to individuals to realize his good ‘self’. This is the natural self.
2.’ LEARNED SELF’- The next one is’ learned self’-This ‘self’ is a product of your social learning history.
This may be the way you have been groomed in your vocation to see or view yourself and skills in constraints of reality. Most of us have diverse ways of thinking about ourselves that prevent us from attaining our human potentials. Therefore, your learned self can be good or bad but usually admixture of both.
- CHOOSING’ SELF’: Another form of ‘self’ is choosing ‘self’. Your natural self represent your endowed gift, while your learned self reflects your reminiscences. Your ‘choosing self’ represents your capacity to make your life through your choices now and in the future. Thus, you are in the constant process of creating yourself. This provides you with the capacity to choose to throw away the ugly habits of thinking and’ self’ talk of your ‘learned self’ that block your fulfilling the inner core of your nature or ‘natural self’. You can also use this principle to choose the aspect of your natural ‘self’ that you wish to develop. This will help particularly for the development of social interest and concern for others that goes beyond ‘self’ interest.
- SELF SUPPORT: Finally, is the self support. You can realize your human potential when you employ the self support. What it thus portends is that you can choose to either be your own best friend or your worst enemy as the saying goes. If you can win this conflict or make progress in it, you may likely lead a freer, happier and more fulfilled life. The cost however, for those in the other negative struggle side can be too high or costly. Those cost may include regular strife, alienation, escape into alcohol, hard drugs, promiscuity, violence and even suicide since they are unable to master their inner self cognitively. This weakness has brought down kingdoms/empires and rulers inconsequential. In a nutshell, avoid putting yourself or society down with the way you apply negative ‘self’ or ‘I’ talk. Avoid unnecessary rigid self perception. Accept your mistakes and enter the mood to put things rightly using the right word that will endear you and the society you live for positive development-By:IDOWU JULIUS
There, are some places of work that employees want to stay as long as they are comfortable and progressing irrespective of pay packets. Also, there are many workplaces that no sooner workers are employed than they long for how to opt out.
Below are 10 tips of what can create a workplace that people want to leave not minding even the huge pay packets:
- Leave people out of the loop and never involve them in decisions or problem -solving.
- Dump solutions on them without context or background.
- Always say and demonstrate that your people are children, lazy or criminals and thank God that you are there to stop them from stealing the rug…..
- Discourage flexibility of approach and tell people what to do and how.
- Fail to match work to competence and give people the wrong job.
- Talk rudely and derogatively to your employees in public in the name of correction.
- When you play selective justice or favouritism , divide and rule among staff.
- The welfare of your staff is not always taken into consideration but only to work and everything centres on yourself and your family.
- When you always threaten your staff to resign at the slightest mistakes or provocation.
- When as the boss, you break rules at will without recourse to policy but blames others for it.
Every nation of the world has its culture or tradition of naming her new born baby. Among the white race, their style of naming is quite different from that of the Africans .A white man can name his child, Stone, Wood, Green, White, Wall and what have you. With the Africans, especially Nigeria and Yoruba race in particular; names given to children at birth are very significant and depend on the circumstances at birth.
In Yoruba grammar, a name can be spelt as the bearer of such name wants it. For example, the name-Abimbola can also be spelt Abinbola,Olayiwola can be spelt Layiwola without altering their meanings. This applies to a host of other Yoruba names. The examples of Yoruba names given above and their orthography(spelling) have meanings in relation to the circumstances of birth or lineages such people originated from. Their spellings notwithstanding, have not altered the meanings attached to them and they are not ambiguous or misleading.
To go to the pre-occupation of this piece, something ugly, demeaning and frustrating has crept into the way Yoruba people spell their names nowadays. They have changed the original and generally acceptable way of spelling Yoruba names which will portray them as Yoruba people. We don’t know what is the matter with these set of people, who still believe that until they interpolate English alphabets into their Yoruba names, they are not yet civilized. The question is –Is this civilization or self imposed colonization?
The alarming rate at which these Yoruba people change their names at will especially on facebook, twitter, etc is too worrisome. Please go through the following to see how insulting and misleading the spellings are: OLUWAFEMI- changed to-HOLLUWAPHEMY,OPEYEMI to-HORPEYYEMMY, ABOSEDE to-HABOZEDEY,OLADAYO to HAWLERDAYOH, the list is in exhaustive.
The above Yoruba names put in English spellings are not only wrong, but misleading not only to the young Yoruba folks but to foreigners interested in the language. It is too misleading to Yoruba folks who are just getting to understanding the Yoruba language and how names are correctly spelt.
Where are we heading to in Nigeria about our culture? What is wrong with these set of Yoruba people who had thrown away our culture and language for the foreign one? An Englishman or woman would rather acquire a Yoruba name instead of bastardizing it. A glaring reference is the late Yoruba culture Icon, SUZAN WENGER. Because of the affinity and respect she had for Yoruba culture, allowed herself to be called ‘’Adunni Orisa’’.
Yoruba language is gradually going into extinction viz-a-viz her culture and these set of people are not helping matters. They are enemies of culture and Yoruba race in particular.
China, is one of the fastest growing countries in the world in terms of technology.Yet, they use their indigenous languages as language of instruction in their schools. The same can be mentioned of Japan, one of the highly industrialized countries in the world. What is wrong with Nigerians? We don’t value what we have but prefers looking outside. It is high time the language experts and the education ministry did something about this ugly trend .We should value our language and culture and not trying to be other people. We should desist from being English more than the English people. Those involved in mutilating our language should have a re-think.
In the Holy Bible-Galatians 6:7says,”Be not deceived. God is not mocked;for whatever a man sows,that shall he also reap”.
Find below men and women who in the past used words to despise God and the repercussions:
1.JOHN LENNON(Singer) many years ago,during an interview with an American Magazine,said”Christianity will end ,it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. Iam certain. Jesus was OK,but his subjects were too simple,today we are more famous than Him”(1966).Lennon,after saying that the”Beatles” were more famous than Jesus Christ,was shot six times.
2.CHRISTINE HEWITT-(Jamaican Journalist and Entertainer) said,”The Bible,word of God was the worst book ever written”.In June 2006, she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor car.
3. In Campinas, Brazil,a group of friends, drunk,went to pick a friend ………The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and said to the daughter,holding her hand who was already seated in the car:”My daughter,Go with God and may He protect you”. She responded, ”only if He (GOD) travels in the Trunk, cause inside here…..it’s already full”.Hours later, news came in that they were involved in a fatal accident and everyone in the car died and the car could not be recognized.However, surprisingly,the Trunk was intact. Inside the trunk of the car was a crate of eggs,none was broken!
4. TANCREDO NEVES(Ex-President of Brazil),during the presidential campaign,said,”if he got 500,000 votes from his party,not even God would remove him from Presidency”. Truly, he got the votes,but he fell sick a day before being sworn in as President,he later died.
5.CAZUZA(Bi-sexual Composer,Singer and Poet)- During a show in Canecio(RIO deJANEIRO),while smoking his cigarette,puffed out some smoke into the air and said:”God, that’s for you’. He died at the age of 32 of Lung Cancer in a horrible manner.
6.MARILYN MONROE(Actress)- Billy Graham visited Marilyn Monroe during one of her presentations of a show. He said”the spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the preacher had to say,she said:’I don’t need your Jesus”. A week later, she was found dead in her apartment.
7. BON SCOTT(Singer) The ex-vocalist of the AD/DC.sang in one of his:songs:”I’m going down all the way,down the highway to hell”. On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead;he had been choked by his own vomit.
8. The man who built the TITANIC(a ship) after the construction of the Titanic ship,a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be? In an ironic and emphatic tone he said:”Not even God can sink it”. The truth is that the TITANIC set on sail but sank that same day.
Make a reflection on the above and bridle your tongue.
Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer and Cassandra Jardine have vital tips on being positive parents. The following are suggested panacea:
X BE IN CHARGE
Show that you are in charge by setting rules and boundaries. Children should not be given adults responsibilities.
You have the benefit of past experience. Use it wisely to guide them.
X SHARPEN YOUR LISTENING SKILL
Listen to their difficulties with non-judgmental ear. Appreciate that their problems,although they seem trivial to
you, can be very real to them. Help them work out solutions in a step-by-step way.
X CELEBRATE THEIR LITTLE ACHIEVEMENTS
Show enthusiasm and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small and share their passion where you can.
X PRAISE THEIR EFFORTS
Focus on efforts rather than results. Although results are important, acknowledge efforts your child has
made to improve or reach certain targets.
X BUILD THEIR CONFIDENCE
Boost their self-belief and self confidence by reminding them that you are their biggest fans,whatever they
X ENCOURAGE THEM IN THEIR PASSION
Encourage them to pursue their genuine ,legitimate and decent passion. When you don’t agree with them,you
only need to counsel them and show them the reason you don’t agree with them.
Have you heard the statement”dress to impress”in our society today? Who are you trying to impress and for what purpose? Should you just lump it or make concerted or deliberate effort to dress well? Remember,style is important but it’s not everything.
It is becoming nauseating the way some people dress nowadays. It involves both the young and adults as well. In an effort to’ belong’, crazy dressings seem to have taken precedence over ‘normal’ and sensible dressings.
The reality is that whether we like it or not, more importance is attached to the way you look-be it at home,the supermarket, the office,Church or Mosque or social gatherings. The conventional dressings for an interview should not be the same for a ‘boogie down’ along the street.
The ‘casual ‘ we wear at home may be too strange to wear to the office or along the street.
Whatever situation we find ourselves, as teenagers,youths and adults, the decorum is what we should follow not the ‘I want to belong’ type of dressings that may eventually reduce your integrity. We should also preserve our culture which craves for modesty and decency.